As I discussed in my previous post about sexual escalation and the dangers of pornography, we can all agree that the consumption of this vile crap is an unhealthy practice. The damage it causes can affect singles, husbands and fathers alike. I'm not going to spend time on this post defending my beliefs about the dangers of pornography. If you have questions about that, see the second post of this blog, especially the comments that followed, and email me with questions. I'm not kidding either. Let's talk.
That aside, I want to address the actual steps we need to take as men who love their current or future wife/children. Let's be clear. If you are sitting there as a single man, you still hold the responsibility of a husband and father. You need to love your family NOW, not later. Your actions and decisions now will directly affect them later. Don't be fooled by an "out of sight, out of mind" mindset. If you sow self-indulgent filth, you'll reap regret and an absence of respect.
1. Where's your computer? Get that thing out in the open. Turn the monitor where it faces the door.
2. When are you on the computer? Here's a tip: Go to sleep. If you are alone at 1 am surfing the net then you ARE looking for trouble. Don't lie to yourself. You're looking for trouble.
3. Why are you on the computer? Got books? Got friends? There's nothing wrong with a video game here and there or some time watching funny or entertaining videos, but keep an eye out for balance.
4. GET COVENANT EYES. Go right here, add me, ryanpeck@hotmail.com as your accountability partner if you have to. Better yet, get a close friend who knows you. My accountability partner is my wife.
Here's what I like about Covenant Eyes:
- You can't just turn it off. If you want it to stop, you have to get an uninstall code and it generates an email to your partner that you've uninstalled it.
- It costs $7 per month. This is not a bad thing. When you pay for something, you take it more seriously.
- For me, it allows me to relax on the computer. As someone who struggled with pornography in the past, sitting down at an unmonitored computer translates into stress. There's always this old "me" trying to take over and dishonor my wife and family, you know?
- The reports it creates are very detailed and easy to read.
- I used to use X3 Church software, but you can just turn it off. I'd keep getting reports from one of my guys that showed it getting turned off at midnight/1 am nightly. I mean...give me a break, right? What's the point?
Man up! Job 31:1 says "I have made a covenant with my eyes. Why would I look upon a young lady"?
Have you made a covenant with your eyes? We're all human, but let's take the practical steps so we can honor our future or current family. Also, there's this little issue of SIN and the FEAR of God. Eternal life or death? Does any of that ring a bell? Get it right in your life, gents. Cut the crap.
Here's some Mute Math for you to enjoy.
Definition of TRUST
ReplyDelete1a : assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something b : one in which confidence is placed
I agree about placing your computer monitor so it faces out....mine faces the office double doors at home but i gotta disagree with you on this software. Software monitoring does not establish or create this, only you can. You are only as good as your word, without that there really is nothing else.
Jason,
ReplyDeleteHey man, thanks for reading/posting. The software is not really a trust issue. Rach trusts me fine, it's that I don't want to worry about that temptation. Here's the deal, if I wanted a way around it I could have one. If I wanted porn that bad I could try the blackberry if I was really desperate and really patient. The software is for me. Like I said, it helps me relax when I'm on the comp. It's hard to describe, but when I used to deal with that crap it was a real heavy burden.
Some people I've talked to take stance that they don't need such "nonsense like a software program". Well good for them. I do. Fact is, porn consumption is very high in the Christian community, and that's not OK. My post is just saying this: "If it's a struggle you face, here's some ideas that help".
You'd be amazed how many people deal with this crap, man. Some of whom I deal with on a day-to-day basis. I have guys coming to me or writing me emails about their struggles with these, and other issues That is the reason for my post.
I could easily, at this point in life, say that I don't "need" it on my comp. I have not had that particular struggle in quite some time. I've chosen to keep it up and active to keep defenses high, so to speak. I don't want that crap anywhere near me or my family, and it's plastered all over the web.
Interesting software! I have OpenDNS, but it's imperfect and I have to go into it periodically to allow sites it is blocking incorrectly. Any time I do that, I have the opportunity to shut it off. Sending a report to a person is a better approach, I think.
ReplyDeleteOn another note, I put my TV/monitor where people can see it from the road. My dad seemed worried people would steal it, but I can tell him I'm using the whole city as my accountability partners.
"I'm using the whole city as my accountability partners." That's awesome, man. Very cool. Whatever works, right? :)
ReplyDeleteGlad you've enjoyed Covenant Eyes!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Mr. Gilkerson. Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeletehttp://www.covenanteyes.com/author/luke-gilkerson/
It's like kicking smoking man, I understand. It never goes away; it's just sitting there in the corner sulking and deviously trying to figure out a way back in. It's a down-right demon! GET THEE HENCE FROM ME!
ReplyDelete